BAMF Classic Film Reviews – DJANGO’S Big Rip-Off Triple Feature

DJANGO, KILL…IF YOU LIVE SHOOT – 1967 director: Giulio Questi; starring Tomas Milian

In case some of you haven’t been paying attention, there were a ton of Django films released after the incredible success of Sergio Corbucci’s original Django. All in all, during the initial spaghetti western craze that spanned three decades, a total of twenty-four different actors have played Django, or at least have been in a film that was slapped with the name Django in the title. And that doesn’t include the rather craptacular Japanese film Sukiyaki Western Django, Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, or non-westerns starring Franco Nero like Django and the Sharks.  

To be honest, I haven’t watched that many of these movies. That’s because once you get past the first (Django), the last (Django Strikes Again), and Django the Bastard, you’re wading through a cesspool of inept filmmaking. Even some films, like Django, Kill—which is loved by plenty of fans and critics—left me with the feeling that someone had served me a bowl of dog shit and tried to pass it off as chocolate pudding.

In this particular entry of the film franchise that isn’t really a franchise, it’s Tomas Milian that has the dubious honor of being “Django.” After stealing a shipment of gold, Django (or “The Stranger” as he’s called throughout the film), is betrayed by his gang, and left for dead in the desert. He’s rescued and nursed back to health by a pair of Native Americans. Armed with a gun full of gold bullets, Django tracks down his former gang with the hope of issuing some serious payback, but wouldn’t ya know he’s too late—the local vigilantes have killed the gang, and taken the money. Enter Zorro, our film’s EHIW (Evil Homosexual In White), who wants the gold for his own twisted reasons. Zorro and his gang of light-in-the-loafers caballeros (you gotta see these guys to believe them) kidnap the son of some guy who has the gold; but when pops won’t pay the ransom, they pull a little choo-choo action and run a train on sonny’s bung hole. After that, the kid kills himself, there is showdown, and all the bad people die. 

The only western from director Giulio Questi, Django, Kill is loved by a lot of people, and I can’t for the life of me understand why. I figure either I saw a different version of this weird mess, or I’m simply too stupid to appreciate this as a work of art, or all the people who like it don’t know shit. But what I do know is that if there was ever a spaghetti western that could be called pretentious, then this is it. And I also know that this stinker bored me out of my skull—twice. That’s right, I tried watching it a second time, and it was even worse. Nice to look at…for about the first thirty minutes, then it all over-stays its welcome.

A FEW DOLLARS FOR DJANGO – 1966 director: Leon Kilmovsky; starring: Anthony Steffen

It should come as no great surprise that there is no character named Django in this movie, which is just one of  the many problems with this in-name-only sequel that typifies much of what’s wrong with most of the various films with the name Django in the title. This particular film stars Anthony Steffen (Django the Bastard) as a bounty hunter named Reagan, who is looking for a man that was part of a gang of outlaws. His hunt takes him to Montana, where men are men and sheep are afraid…oops…I mean where his prey is hiding. Only Django’s prey, or rather Reagan’s prey, might not be his prey, but rather an identical twin. All of this is going on during the middle of a land war between ranchers and farmers, with the outlaw/twin brother caught in the middle. Django/Reagan, falls for the niece of the man he is hunting; but she may actually be his daughter, if he is not really his twin brother, but rather himself. Confused? Try watching this crap in fast-forward, which is the only way to avoid being bored to death, because as nonsensical as this movie may be, it also moves at a deathly slow pace. Really, don’t even bother watching this boring mess—it has little appeal, and even less quality violence. A Few Dollars for Django isn’t even worth a few pennies.

DJANGO KILLS SILENTLY – 1968 director: Massimo Pupillo (a.k.a. Max Hunter); starring George Eastman 

Originality was never one of the stronger points of the spaghetti western genre. In fact, there’s only about three plots in the whole genre—nine if you use various combinations of the initial three. The better films in the genre used creativity to make the worn out stories seem new and exciting. When there was no creativity involved, you were stuck with crap like this—just another lame variation on the MSSVF (Mysterious Stranger Seeking Vengeance Film)—which finds George Eastman as the Django-ish gunslinger going against a murderous gang. Eastman (a.k.a. Luigi Montefiori) was a popular leading man, and starred in more than a dozen spaghetti westerns, including Django Shoots First, Django the Last Killer, and Viva Django. Also released as Django Kills Softly, this is one of the most boring, and technically inept films I’ve ever endured. In fact, Django Bores Mercilessly is a more appropriate title. 

BAMF Classic Film Reviews – NI@@ER LOVER

1973 (Tom a.k.a. The Bad Bunch a.k.a. The Brothers) director: Greydon Clark; starring: Greydon Clark, Tom Johnigarn, Aldo Ray, Jock Mahoney

Released under several different titles, one of the advertising campaigns for Ni@@er Lover proudly proclaimed, “The movie they tried to stop!” And while that might sound like bragging to some folks, I’m hear to tell you that it’s more of a warning. The directorial debut of Greydon Clark, a man whose filmmaking skills could be called “amusingly remedial,” Ni@@er Lover is bargain basement exploitation cinema at its most craptacular. To his credit, Clark did become a better director, but that doesn’t stop this piece of shit from being…well…a piece of shit. We’re talking about the same director who would go on to make Black Shampoo, which is a really bad film, until you compare it to Ni@@er Lover, and suddenly it seems like the work of cinematic genius. But this is about Ni@@er Lover, not Black Shampoo, so let’s get down what needs getting down to.

Clark stars as Jim, a Vietnam veteran, whose best friend was killed in the war. Problems arise when Jim goes to deliver a letter to his friend’s father. Did I mention the Jim’s dead friend was Black? This is a crucial plot point, because it means our hero must venture into the ghetto to deliver the message to dear old dad. Unfortunately, his dead friend’s brother, Tom – who now goes by the Makimba (Tom Johnigarn), because “Tom was my slave name,” has a honky-hating chip on his shoulder, and decides he needs to kill this no good whitey. There’s a bit more to Makimba’s decision to kill Jim – he thinks the evil cracker is working for a pair of racist cops (Aldo Ray and Jock Mahoney), who take pleasure in beating up on righteous soul brothers. Makimba also blames the death of his father on Jim, even though Makimba killed the old man with his own hands. But, you see, Makimba is blinded by hate, which is what Clark is really trying to explore as a filmmaker. The problem, of course, is that not only is the message lost amidst all the exploitation trappings of sex and violence, it is also lost in the mire of an abysmal script that is as racist as it is poorly written – which is to say that it is really fuckin’ racist, because it is also really poorly fuckin’ written. There’s actually a bit more to the film – something to do with Jim’s inability to commit to his girlfriend, while screwing some dope-smoking hippie chick on the side – but that’s as poorly crafted as the rest of this garbage.

There’s no getting around the fact that no matter which title this film was released under, be it Ni@@er Lover, Tom, or The Bad Bunch, this movie is bad on just about every level you can imagine. Everything from the writing to the direction to the acting is just plain awful. Clark tries to trick the audience with enough sex and nudity to keep you from noticing how bad this everything is, but honestly, every single scene could feature the entire cast butt-ass nekkid, and you’d still be distracted by the ineptitude with which this shit has been cobbled together.

The one good thing I’ll say about Ni@@er Lover is that I looooves me the opening song, written by Sheldon Lee.
“Hey honky mother, where you go?/Who you lookin’ for
We don’t want your kind ‘round here/ Knockin’ at our door
Honky mother, no soul brother/ Don’t waste your helpin’ hand
Honky mother, ni@@er lover/ Ripped off by the man
Don’t be askin’ questions/ This street’s a dead end
One way or another, you’re a dead honky mother/ Just like your ni@@er friend
Hey honky mother, jive sucker/ Black and white don’t mix
Honky mother, ni@@er lover/ Good deeds just for kicks”

BAMF Classic Film Reviews – DJANGO THE BASTARD

Spaghetti westerns can be confusing—primarily because almost the entire genre was built on one big rip-off. That’s to say every film was pretty much a rip-off of some other film, and sometimes a single film might be a rip-off of a rip-off. Films would often have multiple titles, and many had names like Django, Sartana, or Trinity added to the title, to make it seem like it was part of an already established series. In reality, there weren’t that many series, just a bunch of titles ripping off other titles, creating the illusion of a series—as is the case with the Django films. As I’ve already explained, Sergio Corbucci’s Django spawned thirty sequels—and that’s not including recent films like Django Unchained, or non-westerns like Django and the Sharks. Almost none of the westerns with the name Django in the title were actual sequels, and very few even had characters named Django. But this meant very little to the working class Italian audiences that flocked to see the movies, talking and smoking throughout the film, and often leaving before the final reel had played. As long as there was gunplay, it was good enough for much of the target audience.

If you were to watch ten movies in the “Django” series—not including the first one—you can rest assured that you’d be seeing some terrible movies. I’m no mathematician, so I can’t give you the actual stats, but since there are only one or two other Django films that don’t totally suck, I’d say you’d be playing against the odds if you just start watching crap like Django Kills Silently. Instead, take it from me, and just sit down and watch Django the Bastard, maybe Django Strikes Again, and skip the other twenty or thirty movies.

Released under the titles Django the Bastard and The Stranger’s Gundown, this film has the distinction of being marketed as a sequel to two different films—Corbucci’s original Django, and director Luigi Vanzi’s A Stranger in Town. Anthony Steffen stars as Django, or the Stranger, depending on which version you see. Hell, for all I know there could be a version where he’s called Fred Flintstone, which knowing how some Italian producers operate isn’t that implausible. Anyway, this time around our hero may or may not be some type of angel of vengeance (or perhaps a ghost) seeking revenge against a group of former Confederate soldiers, responsible for the murder of their own men. He drifts into town—as the anti-heroes of so many spaghetti westerns are apt to do—and before he leaves there’s an impressive pile of bodies riddled with bullets.

More than just your standard MSSVF (Mysterious Stranger Seeking Vengeance Film), Django the Bastard is a well-crafted film that rises head and shoulders above the vast majority of the genre. This is a great example of the genre done properly; with director Sergio Garrone putting together an atmospheric western that has elements of a gothic horror movie interwoven into the cinematic fabric. Garrone directed several other unexceptional westerns that can’t even come close to comparing to this one. Part of the credit for the film’s success has to go to cinematographer Gino Santini, who, like Garrone worked on his fair share of westerns, none of which have the same quality as Django the Bastard. Santini lights and shoots the film as if it were a horror movie, giving Django the Bastard a visual aesthetic that would be copied by other films, including Today It is Me, Tomorrow You.

Anthony Steffen had already appeared in quite a few westerns—including other Django rip-offs—and was an established actor when he starred in Django the Bastard, which he also co-wrote. Steffen lacks the charisma of Franco Nero (pretty much everyone lacks Nero’s charisma), but he manages to channel enough of the requisite Clint Eastwood-wannabe gravitas to make the movie work. And speaking of Eastwood, the mysterious gunslinger in this movie bares a striking resemblance to Eastwood’s avenger in High Plains Drifter, a film that appears to have been heavily influenced by Django the Bastard.

BAMF Classic Film Reviews – MR. RICCO

1975 director: Paul Bogart; starring Dean Martin, Thalmus Rasulala, Denise Nicholas

Okay, in all fairness, I’ve got to tell you all that this is what we in the business like to refer to as NQB — Not Quite Blaxploitation. This is one of those ‘70s films that has a lot of the trappings of blaxploitation, and even takes many of its cues from the beloved genre, including characters, themes, and music score. But when push comes to shove, no matter how much I may want to call this spade a spade, Mr. Ricco just ain’t an official, 100% blaxploitation film, placing it in the company of films like Report to the Commissioner and Man Friday. But since I paid hard-earned cash to buy a copy of this sumbitch, I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t review it as if it were a balls-to-the-wall cinematic exploration of getting revenge against evil honkies.

Dean Martin stars as Joe Ricco, a hard-boiled, liberal defense lawyer who, when the movie starts off, has just successfully gotten his client Frankie Steele (Thalmus Rasulala) acquitted of murder charges. Steele is a leader of the Black Serpents, a controversial group of black militants, and no sooner is he back on the streets, than two cops are murdered in cold blood. Of course, Steele is the prime suspect. But Ricco isn’t convinced his former client is guilty of the murders, so he begins to investigate the case. The problem is that whoever filled the cops fulla lead also wants to unload some buckshot in Ricco’s ass, and it’s only a matter of time before our hero contracts a deadly case of hot lead poisoning.

Mr. Ricco is one of those films that wouldn’t exist as it does if it weren’t for the black action films of the era. The advertising campaign, which bares a resemblance to Greydon Clark’s craptacular Ni@@er Lover, makes the film out to be more blaxploitation that it really is, because the fact of the matter is that Mr. Ricco has more in common with gritty crime films like Dirty Harry than it does blaxploitation films like Trouble Man. One of the film’s biggest problems is that the black characters are all secondary, taking a backseat to Dean Martin’s somewhat miscast hero. Thalmus Rasulala (Cool Breeze) gives a solid performance as Steele, who is easily the most interesting character in the movie, in a role that was clearly inspired by Black Panther Party co-founder Huey P. Newton. But ultimately, Rasulala isn’t given much to do. He only has one scene that has any real weight, and that doesn’t come until the film is well into the second act.

Despite the fact that Mr. Ricco doesn’t officially qualify as a blaxploitation flick, it still works as a midly entertaining crime drama. While Martin wouldn’t be my first choice to play Ricco, he isn’t as terrible in the role as you would expect him to be. Mostly he just seems out of place, occasionally stumbling around as if wandered into this film after a long weekend of heavy drinking, unaware of where he is, or what he’s doing. But as the case continues, and Ricco becomes more conflicted over his role in the proceedings, Martin manages to act with some semblance of conviction.

Director Paul Bogart’s main claim to fame was as a director on television’s All in the Family, but he also directed such films as Halls of Anger, starring Calvin Lockhart. Bogart manages to maintain tension, and the solid script doesn’t chicken out in the final reel, leaving the film with a grim, cynical end, and a cool twist.

BAMF Classic Film Reviews – Sergio Corbucci’s DJANGO

DJANGO – 1966 director: Sergio Corbucci; starring: Franco Nero

As far as the uninformed and uninitiated are concerned, when it comes to spaghetti westerns, only one director made films of merit. That director, of course, was Sergio Leone, who made five westerns—four of which deserve their reputations of being among the best westerns of all time. Leone was head and shoulders the best of the filmmakers cranking out spaghetti westerns, but he was not alone (there were, after all, over 600 Eurowesterns produced), but within the rank and file of journeyman directors churning out largely forgettable crap, there were some talented filmmakers. Arguably the best of the spaghetti western directors who was not Sergio Leone was the other Sergio—Corbucci. Once Leone and his films are removed from the equation, a different stick must be used for measuring the spaghetti western. Director Sergio Corbucci’s Django is that stick.

Not as well known or respected by the mainstream as Leone (or perhaps I should say “uniformed American audiences who think they know something about film, but don’t really know jack or shit”), Corbucci was responsible for an incredible list of westerns. Corbucci directed fifteen westerns—some of which rank as the best of the genre—making him responsible for more great westerns than even Leone. In fact, one of his films is considered by some to be the greatest spaghetti western of all time (which I’ll get to later).

Corbucci had already made three other westerns when he directed Django, a film that on the surface was little more than a rip-off of Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars. And yet Django manages to stand on its own merits as a classic, emerging as a more pure representation of the genre. From the opening scene, with Django (Franco Nero) dragging a coffin behind him through the mud, you know you’re in for something special. Mere moments after our hero wanders into town, he’s forced to massacre the local scumbags, with the aid of the Gatling gun he carries in his coffin, and it isn’t long before more hot lead starts flying, and the bodies start piling up in one of the greatest GGM (Gatling Gun Massacres) of the genre. As it turns out, Django is in town to avenge the murder of his wife—a mission that finds him caught in the middle of bloody feud between two gangs, one of which is a bizarre KKK-type group, decked out in red hoods. There are more shoot outs, more bodies piling up, a double-cross or two, and in the end, Django must face an army—with both of his hands smashed to bloody pulps.

Although not his first western, and arguably not his best, Django is the film that established Corbucci as a force to be reckoned with in the genre. Ultimately, this lead the director down a path that resulted in some of the best westerns to come out of Europe. Where Leone’s first two films were revisionist explorations of the American western, Corbucci’s Django was a revisionist exploration of Leone’s revisionist exploration. It almost plays as if the only westerns Corbucci had ever seen were A Fistful of Dollars and For a Few Dollars More. The result is a film brimming with graphic violence, and a stylized sensibility that seems to have sprung from the pages of a comic book.

Part of what makes Django such and incredible film is the star-making performance of 25-year-old Italian actor Francesco Sparanero, better known as Franco Nero. The actor’s first spaghetti western was Albert Band’s Tramplers, and he would go on to appear in films like Camelot, and director John Huston’s The Bible…In the Beginning.  But it’s Django that catapulted him to super stardom. Like so many of the other gunslingers to appear in the Eurowesterns of the 1960s, Nero was little more than an imitation of Clint Eastwood, meant to cash in on the popularity of the American actor that had quickly come to define the anti-hero of the spaghetti western. But just as Django proved to be a worthy film in and of itself, Nero proved himself to be far more than an Eastwood imitator. Eastwood’s characters were tame by comparison to Nero’s coffin-dragging gunslinger, who was unlike any hero found in American westerns. Django would become the archetype gunslinger of the Eurowestern, brought to life by the raw charisma of Nero, which cannot be diminished, even when his voice is terribly dubbed by an American actor (seriously, the dubbing in this movie is pretty bad, and if you can find a version with the original Italian dialog and English subtitles, watch that one instead).

Django would prove to be one of the most popular spaghetti westerns of all time, giving birth to a sub-genre of over thirty other films, all with the name Django in the title, including Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained (which features Franco Nero in a brief cameo). But don’t be fooled, ’cause damn near all of the other Django films out there have nothing to do with this film, or this character. These other Django films merely bear the name in an attempt to cash in on the popularity of this movie—the originator—and serve as an example of how bad the Italian film industry was when it came to the art of the rip-off. And it wasn’t just the Italians. In Germany, the film The Shark Hunter (a.k.a. Il cacciatore di squali), starring Nero—which isn’t even a western—was released under the title Django and the Sharks.

I have long held the belief that while there were over 600 spaghetti westerns produced, less than ten percent of them are worth watching. And of those, even fewer are truly great. Django is one of the great ones.